Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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