PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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