wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
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