Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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