Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I puked a lego.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
