If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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