how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
