Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
