True but thats because hes a fetus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
