he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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