oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize