Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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