I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
