I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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