Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm at about main and main street
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
