at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
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