Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
