He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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