It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
