If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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