Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
