ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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