thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
