it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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