I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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