dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
