Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
