ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
