You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
