There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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