I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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