My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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