It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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