how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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