I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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