covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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