Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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