4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
