I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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