Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
