my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
