got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
