I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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