so let's talk penis.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
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Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am one with the molecules
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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