guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
