Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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