I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
