I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
