This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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