chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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