its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
