I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
