I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
