Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
