Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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