I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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