How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
