in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
