yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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