The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
