I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
