Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my shit smells like andre
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
