Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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