yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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