This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
