My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
